But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
