Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
