your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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