I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
