you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
