it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize