some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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