my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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