my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize