Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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