she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
