i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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