i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
