okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
