Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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