1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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