The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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