i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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