i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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