I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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