But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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