i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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