I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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