For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
