it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
