If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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