Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Holy shit dude........stairs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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