No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
