Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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