I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
