is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
