the condom got lost in my hair
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
