hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This baby is an asshole
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
