He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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