Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
two words: eviction party
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
