Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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