If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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