I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She even gives head with a lisp.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
