dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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