Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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