Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
