I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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