you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
