So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
