Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
