i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
