PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
