i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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