low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
