Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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