I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize