You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
