Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ya canβt just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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