i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
