Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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