No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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