It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
