just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
