i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
