so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
