I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
