I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology