do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.