Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house