She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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